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Concerning the importance of the friends in the society and how to appreciate them, meaning with which kind of importance everyone should regard his friend. Common sense dictates that if one regards one’s friend as being at a lower degree than one’s own, then he will want to teach him how to behave more virtuously than the qualities he has. Hence, he cannot be his friend; he can take the friend as a student, but not as a friend.

And if one sees one’s friend as being at a higher degree than his own, and sees that he can acquire good qualities from him, then he can be his Rav, but not his friend.

This means that precisely when one sees one’s friend as being at an equal degree to one’s own, one can accept the other as a friend and bond with him. This is so because a friend means that they are both in the same state. This is what common sense dictates. In other words, they have the same views and thus decide to bond. Then, both of them act towards the goal that they both wish to achieve.

It is like two like-minded friends who are doing some business together, so this business will bring them profits. In that state, they feel that they have equal powers. But should one of them feel that he is more competent than the other, he will not want to accept him as an equal partner. Instead, they would create a proportional partnership according to the strength and qualities that one has over the other. In that state, the partnership is a thirty-three or twenty-five percent partnership, and it cannot be said that they are equal in the business.

But with love of friends, when friends bond to create unity among themselves, it explicitly means that they are equals. This is called “unity.” For example, if they do business together and say that the profits will not be distributed equally, is this called “unity”? Clearly, a business of love of friends should be when all the profits and possessions that the love of friends yields will be equally controlled by them. They should not hide or conceal from one another, but everything will be with love, friendship, truthfulness, and peace.

But in the essay, “A Speech for the Completion of The Zohar,” it is written, “The measure of the greatness comes under two conditions: 1) to always listen and receive the appreciation of society, to the extent of their greatness; 2) the environment should be great, as it is written, ‘In the multitude of people is the king’s glory.’”

To accept the first condition, each student must feel that he is the smallest among all the friends, and then he will be able to receive the appreciation of the greatness from everyone. This is so because the greater one cannot receive from the smaller one, much less be impressed by his words. Only the lower one is impressed by the appreciation of the greater one.

And for the second condition, each student must extol each friend’s merit as though he were the greatest in the generation. Then the environment will affect him as a great environment should, since quality is more important than quantity.

It follows that in the matter of love of friends, they help each other, meaning it is enough for everyone to regard his friend as being of the same degree as his own. But because everyone should learn from his friends, there is the issue of Rav and disciple. For this reason, he should consider the friend as greater than himself.

But how can one consider one’s friend as greater than himself, when he can see that his own merits are greater than his friend’s, that he is more talented and has better natural qualities? There are two ways to understand this:

1. He is going with faith above reason: once he has chosen him as a friend, he appreciates him above reason.
2. This is more natural—within reason. If he has decided to accept the other as a friend, and works on himself to love him, than it is natural with love to see only good things. And even though there are bad things in one’s friend, he cannot see them, as it is written, “love covers all transgressions.”

We can see that a person may see faults in his neighbor’s children, but not in his own children. And when someone mentions some faults in his children, he immediately resists his friend and begins to declare his children’s merits.

And the question is, which is the truth? After all, there are merits to his children, and hence he is upset when others speak of his children. The thing is this, as I had heard it from my father: Indeed, each person has advantages and disadvantages. And both the neighbor and the father are saying the truth. But the neighbor does not treat the other’s children like a father to his children, since he does not have the same love for the children as the father does.

Hence, when he considers the other’s children, he sees only the children’s faults, since this gives him more pleasure. This is because he can show that he is more virtuous than the other because his own children are better. For this reason, he sees only the other’s faults. What he is seeing is true, but he sees only things he enjoys.

But the father, too, sees only the truth, except he regards only the good things that his children have. He does not see his children’s faults, since it gives him no pleasure. Hence, he is saying the truth about what he sees in his children. And because he regards only the things that can please him, he sees only the virtues.

It turns out that if one has love of friends, the law in love is that you want to see the friends’ merits and not their faults. Hence, if one sees some fault in one’s friend, it is not a sign that his friend is at fault, but that the fault is in him, meaning that because he flawed the love of friends, he sees faults in his friend.

Therefore, now he should not see to his friend’s correction. Rather, he himself needs correction. It follows from all the above that he should not care for the correction of his friend’s faults, which he sees in his friend, but he himself needs to correct the flaw he has created in the love of friends. And when he corrects himself, he will see only his friend’s merits and not his faults.

In The Zohar, Mishpatim (p 4, Item 11 in the Sulam commentary), it is written, “Come and see, when a person is born, he is given Nefesh from the side of the beast, the side of purity, from the side of those called ‘Holy Angels,’ meaning the world of Assiya. If he is rewarded further, he is given Ruach from the side of the ‘Holy Animals,’ meaning from the side of Yetzira. If further rewarded, he is given Neshama from the side of the Kisse (throne), meaning from the world of Beria. If rewarded further, he is given Nefesh, in the way of Atzilut. If rewarded further, he is given Ruach de Atzilut from the side of the middle pillar, and he is considered a son to the Creator, as it is written, ‘Ye are the children of the Lord your God.’ If further rewarded, he is given Neshama from the side of Aba ve Ima, which are Bina, about which it was said, ‘Let the whole soul praise the Lord,’ and with them, the name HaVaYaH is completed.”

Thus, the perfection of the soul is having NRN from BYA and NRN from Atzilut. This is the perfection that Adam ha Rishon had prior to the sin. Only after the sin did he decline from his degree and his soul was divided into 600,000 souls.

This is the reason why man’s spirituality is called Neshama (soul) even when one has only Nefesh de Nefesh, since there is a rule that when discussing anything, we always refer to its highest level. And since man’s highest level is the degree of Neshama, man’s spirituality is generally referred to as Neshama.

And although each person is born with the smallest degree, they said (Shaar HaGilgulim p 11b), “every person can be as Moses if he wishes to cleanse his actions. This is so because he can take another spirit, a higher one, with the height of Yetzira, as well as Neshama from the height of Beria.”

Now you can also understand our sages’ famous words: “The spirit of the righteous or their souls come and are impregnated in what is called Ibur (impregnation), to assist Him with work of God.”

It is also presented in the Sulam (Introduction of the Book of Zohar, p 93): “The thing is that the donkey driver is the assistance to the souls of the righteous, sent to them from Above in order to elevate them from one degree to the next. Had it not been for this assistance, which the Creator sends to the righteous, they would have been unable to exit their degree and rise Higher. Hence, the Creator sends each righteous a High soul from Above, each according to his merit and degree, which helps him on his way. This is called ‘the impregnation of the soul of a righteous,’ and it is called ‘disclosure of the soul of the righteous.’”

It follows that when it is said that there is no generation without the likes of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, it does not mean that they were born this way and do not have a choice in the matter. Rather, these are people who are trying to walk in the path of truth and make the necessary efforts. These people always receive help from Above through impregnation of the souls of the righteous, and they receive strength to climb the Higher degrees.

It turns out that everything that is given from Above is considered assistance, but not without any labor and choice. And the persistence of the world is through these righteous, who extend abundance from Above, and thus there is sustenance Above.

Question: Does keeping Torah and Mitzvot in order to receive reward purify the heart, too? Our sages said, “I have created the evil inclination, I have created the spice of Torah.” This means that it does purify the heart. But is it so when one aims specifically at not receiving reward, or does it also purify the heart if one works in order to receive reward?

Answer: In the “Introduction to the Book of Zohar” (Item 44), it is written, “When one begins to engage in Torah and Mitzvot, even without any intention, meaning without love and fear, as is appropriate when serving the King, even in Lo Lishma (not for Her Name), the point in one’s heart begins to grow and show its activity. This is so because Mitzvot do not require intention, and even actions without intention can purify one’s will to receive, but in its first degree, called ‘still.’ And to the extent that one purifies the still part of the will to receive, one gradually builds the 613 organs of the point in the heart, which is the still of Nefesh de Kedusha (holiness).” Thus, we see that observing Torah and Mitzvot, even Lo Lishma purifies the heart.

Question: Is the path of observing Torah and Mitzvot in order to not be rewarded meant only for a chosen few, or can anyone walk this path of observing everything in order to not be rewarded, by which they will be rewarded with Dvekut (adhesion) with the Creator?

Answer: Although the will to receive for oneself alone emerged and came to be at the Thought of Creation, being given a correction that the souls will correct it to being in order to bestow, meaning observing Torah and Mitzvot, will turn our will to receive to be in order to bestow. This is given to everyone, without exception, for everyone was given this remedy, and not necessarily a chosen few.

But since this is a matter of choice, some advance more quickly and others more slowly. But as it is written in the “Introduction to the Books of Zohar” (Items 13, 14), in the end, everyone will achieve their complete perfection, as it is written, “He that is banished be not an outcast from him.”

Still, when beginning to learn to observe Torah and Mitzvot, one begins in Lo Lishma. This is because man is created with a will to receive; hence, he does not understand anything that does not yield him self-benefit and he will never want to begin to observe Torah and Mitzvot.

It is as the Rambam wrote (Hilchot Teshuva, Chapter 10), “Sages said, ‘one should always engage in Torah, even Lo Lishma, because from Lo Lishma, one comes to Lishma.’ Hence, when teaching children and women and the populace, they are only taught to work out of fear and to receive reward. And when they gain knowledge and acquire wisdom, that secret is revealed to them bit by bit. They are accustomed to it calmly until they attain Him and serve Him with love.” Thus, we see from the Rambam’s words that everyone should achieve Lishma, but the difference is in the timing.

Question: If a person sees and feels that he is treading a path that leads to Lishma, should he try to influence others so others would tread the right path, too, or not?

Answer: This is a general question. It is like a religious person examining a secular person. If he knows that he can reform him, then he is must reform him, due to the Mitzva, “Thou shalt surely rebuke thy neighbor.” Similarly, in this case it can be said that you should tell your friend about the better way that one can go, provided your intention is only the Mitzva. But there are many times when a person rebukes another only for the purpose of dominating, and not in order to “rebuke thy neighbor.”

And we learn from the above that everyone’s desire that the other will tread the path of truth has created disputes between orthodox and secular, between Litaim [17] and Hassidim, and among the Hassidim themselves. This is because everyone thinks that he is in the right, and everyone is trying to persuade the other to tread the right path.

[17] A faction of orthodox Judaism that started with the Vilna Gaon (GRA) in Vilna, Lithuania

“And a certain man found him, and behold, he was wandering in the field. And the man asked him, saying: ‘What seekest thou?’ And he said: ‘I seek my brethren. Tell me, I pray thee, where they are feeding the flock’” (Genesis, 37).

A man “wandering in the field” refers to a place from which the crop of the field to sustain the world should spring. And the works of the field are plowing, sowing, and reaping. It is said about that: “They that sow in tears shall reap in joy,” and this is called “a field which the Lord has blessed.”

Baal HaTurim explained that a person wandering in the field refers to one who strays from the path of reason, who does not know the real way, which leads to the place he should reach, as in “an ass wandering in the field.” And he comes to a state where he thinks that he will never achieve the goal he should achieve.

“And the man asked him, saying: ‘What seekest thou?’” meaning, “How can I help you?” “And he said: ‘I seek my brethren.’” By being together with my brothers, that is, by being in a group where there is love of friends, I will be able to mount the trail that leads to the house of God.

This trail is called “a path of bestowal,” and this way is against our nature. To be able to achieve it, there is no other way but love of friends, by which everyone can help his friend.

“And the man said: ‘They are departed hence.’” And Rashi interpreted that they had departed themselves from the brotherhood, meaning they do not want to bond with you. This, in the end, caused Israel’s exile in Egypt. And to be redeemed from Egypt, we must take it upon ourselves to enter a group that wants to be in love of friends, and by that we will be rewarded with exodus from Egypt and the reception of the Torah.

Since man is created with a Kli called “self-love,” where one does not see that an act will yield self-benefit, one has no motivation to make even a tiny movement. And without annulling self-love, it is impossible to achieve Dvekut (adhesion) with the Creator, meaning equivalence of form.

And since it is against our nature, we need a society that will form a great force so we can work together on annulling the will to receive, called “evil,” as it hinders the achievement of the goal for which man was created.

For this reason, society must consist of individuals who unanimously agree that they must achieve it. Then, all the individuals become one great force that can fight against itself, since everyone is integrated in everyone else. Thus, each person is founded on a great desire to achieve the goal.

To be integrated in one another, each person should annul himself before the others. This is done by each seeing the friends’ merits and not their faults. But one who thinks that he is a little higher than the friends can no longer unite with them.

Also, it is important to remain serious during the assembly so as not to lose the intention, as it is for this aim that they have gathered. And for walking humbly, which is a great thing, one should be accustomed to appear as though one is not serious. But in truth, a fire burns in their hearts.

Yet, to small people, during the assembly one should be wary of following words and deeds that do not yield the goal of the gathering – that thus they should achieve Dvekut with the Creator. And concerning Dvekut, see the essay, “Matan Torah.”

But when one is not with the friends, it is best to show nothing of the intent in one’s heart and appear to be like everyone else. This is the meaning of “walk humbly with the Lord your God.” While there are higher interpretations of that, the simple explanation is also a great thing.

Hence, it is good that there will be equality among the friends who unite, so one can be annulled before the other. And there should be careful watch in the society, disallowing frivolity among them, since frivolity ruins everything. But as we have said above, this should be an internal matter.

But while there is someone who is not from this society, no seriousness should be shown, but to equalize with the person who had just come in. In other words, avoid speaking of serious matters, but only of things that suit the one who had just entered, who is called “an uninvited guest.”