The Reason for the Heaviness in the Work

Found in the book “Kabbalah for the student
Yehuda Leib HaLevi Ashlag (Baal HaSulam)

  

We must know the reason for the heaviness felt when one wishes to work to annul one’s “self” before the Creator, and to not care for one’s own interest. One comes to a state as if the whole world stands still, and he alone is now seemingly absent from this world, and leaves his family and friends for the sake of annulling before the Creator.

There is but a simple reason for this, called “lack of faith.” This means that one does not see before whom one nullifies, meaning he does not feel the existence of the Creator, and this causes him heaviness.

However, when one begins to feel the existence of the Creator, one’s soul immediately yearns to be annulled and connected to the root, to be contained in it like a candle in a torch, without any mind or reason. However, this comes to one naturally, like a candle is annulled before a torch.

It therefore follows that the essence of one’s work is only to come to the sensation of the existence of the Creator, to feel the existence of the Creator, that “the whole earth is full of His glory.” This will be one’s entire work, meaning all the vigor that he puts into the work will be only to achieve that, and not any other things.

One should not be misled into having to acquire anything else. Rather, there is only one thing a person needs, namely faith in the Creator. He should not think of anything, meaning that the only reward that he wants for his work should be to be rewarded with faith in the Creator.

We must know that there is no difference between a small illumination and a great one, which a person attains. This is because there are no changes in the Light. Rather, all the changes are in the vessels that receive the abundance, as it is written, “I the Lord change not.” Hence, if one can magnify one’s vessels, to that extent he magnifies the luminescence.

Yet, the question is, “With what can one magnify one’s vessels?” The answer is, “To the extent that he praises and gives thanks to the Creator for having brought one closer to Him, so one would feel Him a little and think of the importance of the thing, meaning that he was rewarded with having some connection with the Creator.”

As is the measure of importance that one pictures for oneself, so the measure of the luminescence grows in him. One must know that he will never come to know the true measure of the importance of the connection between man and the Creator, because one cannot assess its true value. Instead, to the extent that one appreciates it, he attains its merit and importance. There is a power in that, since thus one can be rewarded with having this illumination permanently.

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